Corey Hansen posted: " Oh, whoa was me. I had quite the pity party for myself last post. After mentally grinding up an issue overnight, I generally become more rational and objective. This occurrence was far more difficult to distance myself from, hence the post. The a" a life always under construction
I had quite the pity party for myself last post. After mentally grinding up an issue overnight, I generally become more rational and objective. This occurrence was far more difficult to distance myself from, hence the post. The antidote that has been most successful for me in the past is putting pen to paper. Throwing up on paper ( computer doc truthfully but the same concept) allows me to get something off my chest and say whatever I am feeling without hurting or alienating anyone. Once done, I can methodically review, revise and rewrite any part. Most times it happens in short order, and by the next day the situation is resolved in my mind and I move on. A good complement to this concept should be talking it through when possible (if you have someone that is willing, capable or loving) which I do, however I seem to prefer internalizing complex issues to the point of distraction. Like so many times before, I take that thread to a troubling and unnecessary conclusion. Lisa and I always communicate through the good, the bad and the unnerving and my mood was was such that I finished a conversation with the statement, "Sorry, but I will be sad forever." Again, this mood was where I had arrived after creating a terrible and destructive narrative in my mind. I had taken a remote possibility and turned it into a future fact. Fortunately I have a wife that knows my mood is normally positive and upbeat, but can turn melodramatic. Rather than take it personally, she allows me time to review and digest my feelings before approaching me again later, often the next day, to check my temperature and offer her thoughtful opinion. Hearing what I said repeated back to me was a sobering reminder why a person should never act in haste when facing an emotional dilemma. This particular situation may or may not prove difficult so why worry about something that hasn't happened?
Again following up from the last post, the check did come in time and solved all our ills (until next time). I can't help thinking about why I keep allowing myself to be so stupid with money. I will get back to you on that.
online enlightenment
I have ventured back into ebay again, this time a little bit wiser and a lot more prepared. Currently I have four online revenue streams that show potential, but only two are generating income. It is exhilarating (and liberating) to remove personal "stuff" and actually make a buck rather than giving it all to charity. Part of it is to make some money, the other is to take a potential burden off my kids-back by getting rid of stuff they really don't want. If thrifting teaches nothing else it does show how much shit people leave behind. That fact does create its own little sub-economy, I just don't want to be the one that leaves a basement full of random knick knacks and enough dishes to seat 48 people comfortably!
fry sauce?
Two doctor visits (scheduled by the way) offered another sobering reminder that I am not getting younger and my body needs a health czar. The first was a follow-up on lab work to determine what my body was lacking. I set this one in motion because I have been lax in maintaining a nutrient/vitamin/supplement regimen. I allow myself to run out and rather than placing my order before running out or setting up a simple autoship, I go without for two-weeks and then head to Sprouts looking for the equivalents. My results were decent and the recommended products were less than I've needed in the past. The cholesterol levels weren't great but an improvement over the last results. The next day was my delayed primary care appointment. I had a calcium chest scan in early May and was contacted by my doctor to review the results. That was May 15th. I figured it prudent to check this one off the list as well. First I asked for a physical therapy note to address my painful right forearm. Done. I then reminded him of the scan follow-up that I had neglected. "Ah, right," he said and pulled up the results. Everything looked good in 3 of the 4 arteries, and if the results from the 4th artery were spread out over all of them the doctor would be ok with it. the problem was that 4th artery had 59.1% blockage. That particular one is also referred to as the "Widowmaker". He then pulled up my labs from May and proceeded to show the severity of my numbers. I don't remember exactly but they were well over 200+. He immediately set up a prescription for Crestor. Thinking back just a day to the other doctor visit and remembering the cholesterol numbers were in the 150's which was a marked improvement, except for one undeniable truth-the chest scan. My wife and my other doctor are not fans of statins and the red yeast supplement (curiously the one I never allowed myself to run out of) seems to be moving things in the right direction, but there is no denying the chest scan. The Crestor comes with another caveat, change your diet. Today. I have put this off way too long. I want to enjoy my life and not be a health burden to anyone, primarily Lisa so the withdrawals begin.
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